"please this is not a jeep"

"can liposuction cause trauma to the skin?"

- no, it's as gentle as snuggling with a lamb. Idiot.

"should i go down to the police station to talk"

"can i grow yams from a potatoe?"

- don't give up the dream.

"does carols daughter use food coloring?"

"do virgins come faster"

"i am a more of a woman when a man is between my legs"

"who made the planetery motion?"

"how clean is excellent for a cabbage patch doll?"

"is that still your last name?"

"how many marijuana plants can i have?"

"is there a way to friend request everyone on myspace?"

"women eating a baby in tub"

- multiple women. not just one girl in a tub, please.
via colleague @speaks4trees

"how to donate body for money"

-um, donate. for money. your body.
you're an idiot.

"where can hamsters pups be?"

"is there a mathmatical system for picking the correct lootery numbers?"

"is my pinkie a finger?"

- ok, that's enough. get off the internet. now.

"has anyone ever added living space to roof of a travel trailer?"

"how long is the worlds longest dick?"

"how long is the biggest dick in the world?"

"how long is the biggest dick currently?"

"how long is a 5 inch dick?"

"how long is a ram's dick penis?"

"zac efron doesn't want to be in high school musical 3"

"high heeled hiking boots"

"you are not a broom or a mop"

-ok, settle down.

"do the handicapped go to hell?"

"difference between male and female butt hole"

"what did al capone's business card say his occupation was?"

"also young women don't go to fertility clinic steal children there in terrible shape"

"did native americans live a better life?"

- better than what they got now?

"stuff prople shouldn't see"

"god i hate my life"

"my child faled the tax test"

- I wonder why.

"girlfriend wants me to wear her prom dress"

"i'm tires"

"dna tests show boy-dad alfie patten is not the daddy"

"my girlfriend says my penis is too big is it a lie?"

"it's not cheating if you only put the tip in"

[yeah. also...]

"also young women don't go to fertility clinic steal children there in terrible shape"

"can't sperm far"

"Brad Pitt's Personal Hygiene Is Not Good"

"guys in bands don't date black girls"

"is my occupational therapist flirting with me?"

"what is the largest erection ever?"

"puerto ricans steal hubcaps"

"stolen jesus statue because of poopig weiner dogs"

"how can i test my anger?"

"Should boys eat soy beans?"

"who takes care of a blind person's guide dog potty trips?"

"pimp my ride where are the cars now"

[ok....]

"while traveling my friend stopped at the roadside rest stop"

"my dog seems to have an extra large tongue"

"Can girls wear suspenders for nerd day?"

"Can cats throw up and die?"

"if you don't swallow you're getting it in the eye"

"can you sue a gym if they allow gay crusing in the locker room?"

"there is something fleshy inside my vagina is it a tampn"

"just walk into your closet and shut the door and communicate with the lord"

"female jesus on cross"

"lord teach me to study the bible in large print"

"varmint hunting in south dakota"

"what are jew's?"

"the best toilets in ontario"

"Cool Dogs With Dresses"

"passing gas with mucous"

- be thankful for what you DON'T have

[redneck porn]

"hot chick with trucks"

"did dane cook get an erection when filming good luck chuck?"

"did they have pizza in medieval times?"

"should you get married if your man is in-love with another woman?"

"how much would one real french hen cost?"

"my belching smells like rotten eggs"

"did alanis morissette gain weight?"

"jade i swear on my life i'm not racist"

"my husband is good looking but"

"black snake jumped across my way in dream. what do that means"

this could possibly be the longest search ever:

"I have cheated on my husband and lied about it for a year i know i made a huge mistake and regret every moment of it as i so love my husband, hes my rock.i hate myself for this and what hurts most is that i cant stand that looking at his pain the hurt i put him through. even though i wasnt intimate with this other man mainly friends but we went out quite a bit for drinks. my husband has seen photos of us together and it makes him ill. i feel lost and alone and i have ruined everything all because i was feeling lonely and not wanted at the time.even though my husband and I love each other to bits, he cannot cope with this and I dont blame him."

"woman singing and pulling stuff out of her bra"

"woman or girl or wife inflating or popping duck baloon"

["research"]

"research bath giving by moms as seductive mother seducing son"

research.

"drinking my own sperm"

"punishment enemas for women"

"find phone number by the number"

"married woman in love with priest"

"iodine and baby oil to get a suntan"

"african americans + favorite fragrances"

"a site for losers and depressed people"

"was told i had a missed abortion but another baby was still there"

"was i married in my past life?"

"somewhere i can create my own virtrial baby so ican fewd here take her a bath just like a real baby"

"someone and louise"

"what can i find around the house to shove in my ass?"

"wd40 to treat head lice"

"it is a shame for a man to wear long hair"

"baldness is a blessing"

"this is a sensational new dance commission"

"Husband bad breath affecting marriage"

"what do they do with the dirty comdoms in the red light district in frankfurt germany?"

"Is Virginity a Requirement for Marriage?"

"How to Pronounce Hoare"

"bible verses for people who like children like they where they own"

"jews getting over themselves"

"safety chaps"

"How tofucka mans labia"

"how much is my eye ball worth?"

"how many men can a woman have sex with at once?"

"my boss puts her foot to my mouth"

"my car smells like fish"