Thursday, December 31

"my wife wants to snowball sperm"
"biggest eye balls ever"
"my sister helps me buy my own nylon panties stories"
"Spiritual Roots of Alzheimers"
"i have hair on only one of my shoulders"
"daddy ate my eyes out"

[you can't handle the truth!]

"my boyfriend critizes me does he love me"
"blacks who do stem cell research"

Wednesday, December 30

[not the fake shit]

"real sperm and alcohol mixed drink"


hat tip, @annaroth
"If You Double Pie Ingredients Do You Douoble the Baking Time"

Monday, December 28

"how to use police scanner as a weather radio"

Monday, December 21

I found this one while testing the Search WOPR on my e-garbage can to see how focused/available my e-trash was. And like in Minority Report, as I waited for my computer to query the floating lobotomies' database/brains, and roll the answer back to me - slowly. Perfectly etched on a perfect wooden ball...
+ [religion]
- [shopping]
+ [images]
+ [animals]
___________________
"Funny Picture of a Jewish Lady Walking the Dog"
"if the pilgrims were so religious why didn't they build a church"
"my job is making me go to a resume writing class"
"lenin n things"

Sunday, December 20

"how to get a giraffe in a fridge"

Saturday, December 19

"the best way to ask your mum do you have sex with me"
"how to convince your sister to have sex with you"

Friday, December 18

"i am a more of a woman when a man is between my legs"
"good housekeeping didn't put jon & kate on the cover"

Thursday, December 17

"doctors remove fetus from face"

[good luck]

"celebrities that are sober"

Wednesday, December 16

"if i took a trip to neptune what would i find"
"walking around with sperm on face"

[omg. me too.]

"i hate when people tell me to cut my hair"

Tuesday, December 15

"childrens duties as a slave"
"what did eskimos use for igloo windows?"

Monday, December 14

"tv show about the teenager that gets pregnant"

you know, that tv show about the teenager....
"real sperm and alcohol mixed drink"
"where to buy vicks dayquil liquid for cold & flu in maryland"

really? this could be the laziest search ever.

Sunday, December 13

"is there a way to cure yourself after death?"
"happy birthday i'm pregnant cards"
"am i pregnant if i have a metallic taste in my mouth?"

yup.

Thursday, December 10

"the history of headaches"
"how to be sexie as a man"
"what questions should i ask as a defense lawyer?"

I know! "how did I become a defense lawyer?"
"how to use house powerline as a tv antenna"
"pine tree used as a house plant"

jesus, it's starting to smell really dumb.
"barack obama grew up as an elitist"

if by elitist you mean "in indonesia" and "without a father" then you are spot on.
"honey as contraceptive"

you have got to be kidding.
"how to masturbate as a japanese man"
"how to make jewish friends"
"cream of crap soup"

Tuesday, December 8

"nice to her or iwill cut them off yes it is a cute lady she is very pretty smart i can go from"

[wear sun block!]

"police offered me job and then changed their mind wear sun block"

Monday, December 7

"Who Was the First Person to Make Money & What Did They Need the Money For?"
"Who Was the First Person to Have Cerebral Palsy?"
"Who Was the First Person to Grow Vegetables?"

Sunday, December 6

"online dating should I tell him about my weight?"
"do you want me to give you a foot job?"
"help dealing with a sociopath in illinois"
"help people find australia"

Saturday, December 5

"did allah & muhammad hate woman & make them slaves & dirt & not eaul to muslim men?"

Friday, December 4

"Why John Thomas White Invented the Lemon Squeezer"
"when will i be 16 weeks pregnant?"
"when will i be 16 weeks pregnant?"
"how much is 1 gallon of cow manure?
"real women have curves and sociology"
"sodomy anthropology"

good choice for a major.
"i got a 40 gallon still"

Thursday, December 3

"untucked dress shirt how many buttons"
"i can't exercise cause my dog won't let me"

Wednesday, December 2

"why does a car hits a tree & doesn't stop but keeps going until it is damaged?"
"if obama is president will he make people be slave"
"if your vagina is itching things you can find in the house to heal it

Tuesday, December 1

"somebody tell me why i'm on my own if there is a soulmate for everyone"
"i think my phone is buged"
"20 guy creampie"