Monday, November 30

"hoe difficult to be accepted harvard graduate school of education"

in your case...?
"male to female simulation"

sounds... [n]e[u]rotic.
"from which side do you enter a chair"

[totally]

"brad & angelina don't seem happy at latest premiere"

[i'll say!]

"made mistake of not reborn with different look"

[all about me 3 - special edition]

last [all about me] installment of the day:

"my white male neighbor is dating a black women"
"my mom is cheating with a married man"
"my son is mean to animals"
"my mother acts like my son is hers"
"my tongue is coated"
"my nose is always oiliy & pimply"
"my cats nose is always dirty"
"my 5 month pomeranian eat his feces & drink is urine"
"my toddler's hair is falling out"
"my coughing neighbour is driving me mad"
"my hair is still wet the day after i wash it"

[all about me 2 - special edition]

"my dog's lips are cracked"
"my cat is always hungry"
"my bipolar husband is always depressed"
"my teenage daughter is tired all the time"
"my dog is scared of the car"
"my lunch meat is wet"
"my soup is too salty"
"my life is falling apart"
"my tv programs are not loud enough"
"my cats ears are brown"

[all about me - special edition]

oh, man, these are good. List 1 in 1/3 of its glory:

"my child is an artist"
"my life is messed"
"my life is crazy"
"my life is a disaster"
"my temper is ruining my life"
"my laptop screen is sideways"
"my period is a week early"
"my child is constipated"
"my shoes are too big"
"my girl friend is sleeping"
"guys in bands don't date black girls"
"korean women & dinner"
"biggest female breast in the world"

Sunday, November 29

"my husband is good looking but"
"my bipolar husband is always depressed"

ALWAYS?
"teach me to use a computer"
"poor kid that can't afford pizza hutt"
"bible says to pray for sauve for your eyes in revelation that you might see"

I'm pretty sure that's NOT in the bible

Friday, November 27

"my son displays rebel flag we re not from south"
"i feel that people will find out that i don't know my job"

Wednesday, November 25

"If My Nose Ran Money"
"if a man wears a toupee will the airport metal detector go off"
"customer complaints unsatifactorily average people"

Tuesday, November 24

"i halved a court hearing can they pulled up my probate"
"how to patent guacamole"
"auntie makes me wear her playtex bras & vanitary fair panties stories"
"my husband wants to dress up like a french maid"
"how to lose weight when you hate to exercise but love to eat"

Friday, November 20

"girlfriend saved me from drowning while skinny dipping later made out"
"i lost half of my finger in a table saw that had a defective blade guard"
"why sucking on a wound is a bad idea"
"i can guide a missile with a satellite"

shut up.

Thursday, November 19

"any reason not to be an acrylic bathtub"
"how to play music with hearing aids"
"how did my grandfather make beer in the barn?"
"calories burned from pop lock it drop it dance"
"trainning of white women"
"WWII vet needs help with PC problem"

How does it matter that you're a vet with computer problems? I mean, how is that even ...wait for it... germane? get it? germane?
"infant vomitting in a stream"

Wednesday, November 18

"if you think she is seeing some one else she probably is"
"my hot tub is frozen. what should i do"
"hearing dogs for the deaf"

Tuesday, November 17

"influenza fun facts"
"how to lose weight without people knowing"

Monday, November 16

"how to eat raccoons"
"Do you lose weight when you fart?"
"why they want you to read those books before college"

yeah... stupid college with the stupid books.
"why you shouldn't put your laptop computer on your laptop"
"should you get married if your man is in-love with another woman?"

why not?
"should i repo my car?"

[which kind?]

"what kind of supplies to stock for depression?"

Friday, November 13

"risks of smoking vs. injecting methamphetamine"
"the history of womanism"

Wednesday, November 11

"jewish lawn decorations"

...trust me, lawn decorations are for gentiles only

[calm down. computers are unimpressed.]

"americas toughest jobs how to apply"

Tuesday, November 10

"side effects of brazillians"
"How Is Chef Boyardee Spaghetti & Jumbo Meatballs Important to Our Culture?"

[worst idea of the day]

"cactus crafts for kids"
"18Th Century on 3rd Grade Lesson"

a natural teacher, no doubt.
"How Can a Catholic Nun Find Emergency Financial Help or Loan?"

Pray to Godoogle!
"how to read children story with pictures"

...wtf?

Sunday, November 8

"my child starts to cry when she sees the hairbrush"
"i am not my hair or am i"
"I cant eat eggs what do i look for on labels"

um, eggs!
"camps for kids who harm themselves in iowa"
"psychiatrists who date kittens"

Thursday, November 5

"the gentleman that teaches kids short math"
"free to use engienes that do your algebra 2 homework for you"
"if you get to know a woman's mom while dating her"

yes... and...?
"side effects of playing saxophone"
"140 pound tumor with flu symptoms"
"what a dentist should not admit"
"hearing voices through electronics how to stop it"
"will drinking eye drops give you violent diarrhea?"

Wednesday, November 4

"Yankees Walking Around With Pedro's Sperm on Face"

Tuesday, November 3

"how we benefit from veterans"
"How to Prove You Are a Diabetic When You Try to Buy Syringes"
"did my doctor get enough skin when he circumzied my son?"
"how history came to be"
"where other than ebay and amazon to buy products"

Monday, November 2

"is there a shortage of patchouli?"
"how to stop erections on certain persons"
"can i just have someone else sign the birth certificate of my child to adopt them?"

i don't see what could go wrong with this routine legal matter... just ask your neighbor to do it.
"how can i make something similar to a vagina with hou?"

hou? I'm dying to know how this will be dissimilar to a vagina.
"if i am so smart why can't i lose weight"
"how do super obese people use the bathroom?"