Friday, July 31

[sporty spice]

"how to masturbate with a badminton racket"

Thursday, July 30

"Gangsta Way to Tie Shoes"

Tuesday, July 28

[inquiring minds]

"who invented the toilet fuck?"

[just asking for a friend]

"can humans & chimpanzees reproduce?"

[say 'cheebus!']

"jesus high resolution photos"

Monday, July 27

[wtf?]

"Male Exercises to Simulate Pregnancy"

[go away forever]

"How to Trick a Guy to Get Pregnant"

[strategies?]

"strategies on how to win on the slot machines"

[exclusive club]

"traffic cone preservation society"

[fetish alert]

"traffic cone up her pussy"
"weird porn traffic cone"
"traffic cone pussy"
"pussy on traffic cone"
"traffic cone in pussy"
"traffic cone girl porn"
"traffic cone porn"
"werid porn traffic cone"

[early adopter]

"how to get bigger dick with tech"

[if you say so]

"you have to pay your husband's debt so start sucking my cock"

[ok!]

"fuck my wife to pay debt"

[really. you need a book?]

"Book on How to Say Thank You & I'm Sorry"

[fat and lazy]

"DNA Model Made of Candy"

[blast off]

"New Planet Made of Diamond"

Saturday, July 25

[hamster whores]

"can hamsters get pregnant after there pregnant?"
"can people with epilepsy get married?"
"can people die from broken a heart?"

[priorities]

"can people with thick hair get emo haircuts?"

Friday, July 24

[temporal fetish alert]

"can men wear high heels in 2009?"

[can you get pregnant if...]

"can u get pregnant from swallowin?"

"can u get pregnant from fingering?"

"can u get pregnant if you swallow sperm?"

"can u get pregnant from sucking a dick?"

"can u get pregnant by giving a blow job?"

"can u get pregnant while your pregnant?"

Thursday, July 23

"will jesus come soon?"

[brilliant]

"can you get pregnant while your pregnant?"

[jurassic idiot]

"could dinosaurs still exist in africa?"

shit. we totally forgot to check africa.

[stay on the internet]

"can deaseal fuel be used as heating oil?"

[ugh]

"how to fuck a high heel shoe"

[shake!]

"what are the causes of shaking penis in men?"

Wednesday, July 22

[mmm... kentucky]

"Cheating Older Married Women in Kentucky"
"can one man satisfy a planet full of women?"

Tuesday, July 21

[would i!]

"Meet Hairy Girls in Mass"

[really?]

"Nude camps for kids"


I can only imagine what the camp counselors must be like... Nice, Mom and Dad. Brilliant.

Monday, July 20

[get a ruler]

"how big dose a 8 inch dick looks like?"

[um, never]

"when did guy cheerleaders become popular?"

[unlikely]

"5 Star Hotels in Pigeon Forge Tennessee"

really. in pigeon forge, tennessee. a five star hotel.
good luck with that, elvis.

Sunday, July 19

[GayT&T]

"gay telephone dating services in tulsa oklahoma"

I think it would look something like this, because apparently, Tulsa gets the internet only*after* Tobago.


Saturday, July 18

[it's not you?]

"whos the first person that invented money"

[wtf? who?]

"insert a tampon in my daughter"

Friday, July 17

[is there an ENT in the house?]

"Can't smell anything"

[step away from the internet]

"and i don't like to see a sky painted gray"

... ok ...

[the arts]

"learn the art of muff diving"

hat tip: anna roth

[legally?]

"can fat guys play rugby?"

[romance languages]

"how to say i want u pussy in french"

[tourists...]

"How to Say Eat My Pussy in Spanish"

[it's for a friend]

"can a human get pregnant from dog sperm?"
This is basically a passive form of the perennial do-my-dog / my-dog-does-me search queries.

[white power]

"can a white cat be deaf or blind?"

[palin bings the tubes]

"will a wild turkey eat from a deer gut pile?"

[it's never clean *enough*]

"Can't keep rectum clean"

Thursday, July 16

[Recursion Perversion]

" "how to fuck a dog"-music "

This is a search that someone did on Google, found searchoftheday.com in the results, and then came to this site, ostensibly to find further information on "how to fuck a dog", but NOT music. I'm guessing he/she already has a soundtrack picked out for the evening's festivities.
"pictures of kanye west sad cause mother dying"

and the sadness in the picture needs to specifically reflect the grief over his mother's death...

[including you?]

"how many men wear high heels in 2008?"

[get em while they're hot]

"how many girls turn 18 today?"

"how many girls turn 18 yesterday?"

[how great is it]

"how great is our god video"

your god video is truly awesome, i have to say...

[a black man?!?!]

"can a black man become a sovereign citizen of america?"

[only the smart ones]

can new born babies fly?

[a lot]

"How Much Does 1 Yard of Ashfault Weight?"

[today's dumb question]

"avearge weight of a coat rack"

[shirts off their backs]

"how much rent to charge adult son & girlfriend?"

[bad time to diet]

"how many calories are in eating pussy?"

Wednesday, July 15

[subjective ass]

"world's best toilet"

Tuesday, July 14

[carefully]

"how can I manage two girlfriends at one time?"

[fruedian slip]

"where can I check my paper for plagiarism?"

because you know it's plagiarized? because you've changed it just a little and want to see if it'll trip the plagialarm?

[way to narrow it down]

"what porn website starts with a T"

Friday, July 10

[OMG, me too!]

"I hate girly girls that think there hot"
"Could the internet be a good thing?"
"Do hickies gives you cancer?"

['heau', or maybe 'hough']

"how to spell ho"

Thursday, July 9

[get thee off thine internets]

"Why do you intrigue me thus?"

[user error]

"Why would a car battery blow up?"

[with a shovel?]

"How do I find a dead person?"

Tuesday, July 7

[never too soon]

"how to start potty training for a boy"
you should do it for yourself, not just for a boy.

[put a wii in it]

"how to make wooden toys my kids will love"

[easy]

"how to become a fat porn star"

[get off the net .com]

"how to get rid of rats raccoons & squirls.com"

[i'm not gay]

"how to convince people you are not gay"

[aspirations]

"be a hitler tenfold"

['left' in Mulish

"how to tell a mule to go left"

[ultra-violence]

"shoot the bastards"
"shoot the blacks"
"shoot the crows"
"shoot the engineers"
"shoot the kids"
"shoot the mexicans"
"shoot the teletubbies"
"shoot the writers"

Monday, July 6

[boy scouts]

"How Not to Firebomb a Nightclub"

[nyc]

"What Street Holds Most of New York's Broadway Theaters?"

Thursday, July 2

[if only more were this honest]

"battling the inner dummy"

[the america list]

"best way to get great sex in america"
"best places to live and work in america"
"nicest place to live in america"
"best state to live in america"
"cheapest place to live in america"
"best city to live in america"
"healthiest place to live in america"
"best place to retire in america"
"safest place to live in america"
"the absolutely worst places to live in america"
"the best neighborhoods to live in america"
"worst city to live in america"
"worst place to live in america"
"best small town to live in america"

[pick one]

"what was the largest earliest group to migrate to america"

[you betcha!]

"i can't stop praising his name"
"stop snoring in canada"

[who are you talking to?]

"stop staring at my tit"

[whatever you say]

"stop laughing this is serious"

[kind of depends]

"should you wear your uniform to a funeral?"
you really need to be more specific than that. even for asking google. I mean, are you a clown? catholic school girl? do you pass out fliers on the corner of 42nd and 8th dressed liked a hamburger, or a cell phone?

Wednesday, July 1

[it IS canada day]

"should I sell my house canada"

[don't get married]

"should my fiance pay some of my bills"

it's your Future-Spouse, not your sponsor. and what do you mean by 'some' anyway? which ones? how much? i hope right now your fiance is googling "how do i run?"

[gay+razor=grazors]

"how do gay men get rid of their facial hair?"

[a valid question]

"Why is wwe wrestling so fake and gay now?"

[\Re*tard"\, noun]

"How Is This Name Pronounced?"