Monday, March 9

[go back and read the story]

"Who Performed the Wedding Ceremony for Adam & Eve?"

If you can't remember the details of The Big Day, let me refresh your memory: the story of Adam & Eve is exactly like Weird Science, except Adam (Anthony Michael Hall) didn't have a dweeby sidekick in this movie, the naked pictures fed into the weird-science machine was a rib-ectomy that Adam did not consent to, and Eve (Kelly LaBroc) was created to be married (and not just to look like Adam had a hot girlfriend who he was shtupping so the other kids in Weird Science High would think he was actually cool and not a semi-pubescent Anthony Michael Hall). In both cases though, it was more like an event, and not quite a ceremony like you're thinking. And before you start asking the follow-up questions, I'll also go ahead and let you know that there wasn't a caterer, a band, gifts for the groomsmen, or a limo to take them to some fancy 5-star hut in Eden, either.

I strongly suggest that you immediately put down either the Bible or the April issue of
Modern Bride, because the two together are just confusing you now. Slow down, tiger.

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